My first Naisaiku

An amateur's first attempt at Palindrome Naisaiku. This is a variation of the Haiku genre of poetry. 

Image courtesy www.bookschristian.com
  
Love life’s longing
Hearts aflutter,
minds restless,
Souls mated in strife

Longing life’s love!


Strife in mated souls
restless minds,
 aflutter hearts
Love life’s longing.

Comments

Vinay Leo R. said…
wow Vibs.. quite beautiful...
Leo, you really think so?
Please do critic it the way u feel like..It would only mean constructive help to me!
Vinay Leo R. said…
i donno much of NaiSaiku form dear.. from what i know NaiSaiku is 7 lines in 5-7-5-7-5-7-5 syllable form, but i've seen 5 lines form like urs too, so its confusing :)

other than that, i've nothin to critique.. its really quite beautiful Vibs..
thanku for the lovely words of appreciation Leo...Maybe more reading will help me know this genre better..Yours are excellent too!
Vinay Leo R. said…
excellent.. lol, thats surely an exaggeration yaar! :D

thanks a lot..
bibhash k jha said…
Excellent Palindrome :) I just loved it .. u r an artist !!


Am I Child of God
Vibhuti B said…
Leo, you really think so?
Please do critic it the way u feel like..It would only mean constructive help to me!

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