My first Naisaiku

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An amateur's first attempt at Palindrome Naisaiku. This is a variation of the Haiku genre of poetry. 

Image courtesy www.bookschristian.com
  
Love life’s longing
Hearts aflutter,
minds restless,
Souls mated in strife

Longing life’s love!


Strife in mated souls
restless minds,
 aflutter hearts
Love life’s longing.

Comments

Vinay Leo R. said…
wow Vibs.. quite beautiful...
Apr 17, 2010, 6:44:00 AM
Vibhuti Bhandarkar said…
Leo, you really think so?
Please do critic it the way u feel like..It would only mean constructive help to me!
Apr 17, 2010, 8:37:00 AM
Vinay Leo R. said…
i donno much of NaiSaiku form dear.. from what i know NaiSaiku is 7 lines in 5-7-5-7-5-7-5 syllable form, but i've seen 5 lines form like urs too, so its confusing :)

other than that, i've nothin to critique.. its really quite beautiful Vibs..
Apr 17, 2010, 1:34:00 PM
Vibhuti Bhandarkar said…
thanku for the lovely words of appreciation Leo...Maybe more reading will help me know this genre better..Yours are excellent too!
Apr 17, 2010, 1:52:00 PM
Vinay Leo R. said…
excellent.. lol, thats surely an exaggeration yaar! :D

thanks a lot..
Apr 17, 2010, 2:07:00 PM
bibhash k jha said…
Excellent Palindrome :) I just loved it .. u r an artist !!


Am I Child of God
Apr 25, 2010, 6:46:00 AM
Vibhuti B said…
Leo, you really think so?
Please do critic it the way u feel like..It would only mean constructive help to me!
Nov 4, 2010, 11:32:00 AM
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