55 fiction #5

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He had an ominous contraption wrapped around his chest.
The twin cylinders mounted on his back were attached to a long gun.
She cowered behind the car, pressing against the wall but he had spotted her!
He came up, his finger poised over the trigger, put the gun in her face
and screamed "Holi Hai!"








Comments

Rumya said…
Hahaha!! Loved this one!! :D
Out of a personal Holi Experience??
;)

Happy Holi!!
Mar 1, 2010, 8:29:00 PM
Rumya said…
BTW isn't this number 5?? Your 4th was Ambush right??
Mar 1, 2010, 8:31:00 PM
Mahesh Aadhya Kalal said…
nice one...the description in the first few lines is really convincing to take u turn for the readers...

the moment i read "spotted her".....it hinted to holi may be coz the timing...

but still i loved this 55ier.....quite unique and relevant :)
great job :)
Mar 1, 2010, 10:15:00 PM
Vibhuti Bhandarkar said…
@ Mahesh: A veteran is appreciating my 55ier! I'm flattered...Thankyou so much...

@ Rumya: Thanks for spotting the error. Corrected. No, just narrating an incident that happened before my eyes. The target wasn't me, luckily!
Mar 2, 2010, 8:19:00 AM
SUNNY said…
I want to write a 55 myself..This one is amazing...
May 4, 2010, 12:21:00 PM
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